I have to admit I've been struggling with some mild anxiety today. When Shelter in Place was implemented 2 weeks ago I thought of it as a min-vacation. As the reality sets in that I have 4 more weeks, things are starting to swirl in my head.
Number one. I'm single and live by myself. Except for my cat who is a bit self-centered and not much of a conversationalist.
Number two. I'm an extrovert. I get my energy from other people. Too much of myself is not a good thing. All this time gives me too much time in my head.
Number three. I'm a person who needs structure or I revert to bad habits (food and sugar) which increases my anxiety and adds gasoline to some of the negative self-talk I can be prone to sometimes.
What am I learning through this process? Hmmm...
First and foremost, practice what I preach. I talk with clients who struggle with anxiety about developing their tool box. Activities that redirect focus to what we have control over. Combating feeling brain vs. rational brain.
Secondly, focusing on opportunity. I hope to retire from my state job in a couple of years. This time is helping me develop skills and tools of how I hope to "retire well", with a well rounded, balanced life.
Extra time affords me the opportunity to get stuff done around the house (lots of goodwill). I've revamped my bedroom which is now my favorite place in my apartment. I have lots of time to catch up on the business end of a small private practice amidst working a full time job.
I have the opportunity to use my creativity. I'm playing with watercolors, watching tutorials on bullit journaling and abstract painting. I'm planning my back yard and the flowers I want to grow this year.
I've take the time to do more than shoot off a text. I'm face timing friends, having fun little chats, laughing and connecting.
I'm struggling at getting in some movement. It's a work in progress. I always talk about small steps. Every step is a movement forward. I don't get to beat myself up because I should be doing more. Right now my focus is 250 steps. Several times a day. Lots of times a day. I'm working on it.
As I walk around my small complex I'm amazed at the number of apartments that have their blinds closed throughout the day. I'm trying to stick with my daily routine. Get up. Get showered. Put on something other than yoga pants and a sweatshirt...at least once in a while. Open the blinds! See what's out in the world. Enjoy the hummingbirds that buzz outside my home office window and bring me joy and a sense of calm.
So how are you doing? Do you have a tool box? It's never too late to start. Write your challenges and opportunities down. Mark off your accomplishments. Notice if you feel different. How do you feel different? Where in your body can you feel it?
It takes practice. It gives a road map to a balanced life and helps keep our rational brain in control of our feeling brain.
We are all in this together!
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